Will The Real Mystique Please Stand Up?
by DahliaxBell
Summary: A parody of Eminem's "Real Slim Shady"....what if Mystique was STILL alive? And she comes back to the brotherhood? snickers Please R&R..thanks!


AN- Okay, now, I don't own Mystique, or the Eminem Song, "The Real Slim Shady"....this is just a parody...that's it.....yadda yadda....the lyrics have been switched and modified...so don't sue me, I'm not tryin to make profit, just make people giggle...

            Wanda sighed, "I can't believe she's _gone_!" She sighed.

            The Brother hood sat in the living room, moping about what Rogue had done to Mystique's statue. "She's _gone_!" Lance exclaimed.

            _*~*~*Muffled beats of music can be heard from outside*~*~*_

            Wanda looked up, and around, confused at the sudden muffled sounds, "Where's that music coming from?"

            They all looked towards the front door, as it swung open. Mystique stood at the door, looking into the house. 

            Mystique: May I have your attention please? Imbeciles! May I have your attention please?

            The Brotherhood looked around at each other, confused at the sudden appearance, and the music mysteriously playing in the background. 

            Mystique: Will the real Mystique please stand up? I repeat. Will the real Mystique please stand up?

            Toad: (Looking at Wanda) We're gonna have a problem here...

            Mystique: (Strutting towards the shocked Brotherhood, rapping to the music) Ya'all act like you've never seen a mutant before, Jaws all on the floor like Apocalypse and Mags just burst in the door, and started whoopin' his ass worse than before. (Mystique leans into Toad, continuing to "rap") You were the worst, bein' thrown over furniture. (Mystique backs away, looking at all of them) It's the return of the..."Ah wait, now way, you're kidding, she didn't just say what I think she did, did she?" And Magneto said...._nothing_ you idiots! Magneto's dead, he's locked in Apocalypse's basement! Ha ha!

            Wanda: (Growling while glaring at Mystique)

            Mystique: (Continuing to rap): Yeah I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose, but no worse than what's goin on in the Xavier Institute. Sometimes I wanna get on TV and let loose, but can't, but it's cool for you guys to make the X-Kids _coo coo_!

            The Brotherhood: (All looking at each other with proud grins)

            Mystique: (Continuing to rap) Mystique's really dead, Mystique's really dead, and if you're lucky you might just give her a little kiss. And that's the message that we deliver to the X-Kids, and expect them to not know where my body is. But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote, everyone wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes...

            Mystique and Brotherhood: (all singing together the chorus) I'm Mystique, yes I'm the real Mystique, All you other Mystique's are just imitating, so won't the real Mystique please stand up, please stand up, please stand up? (Singing again one more time)

            Mystique: (Rapping, while leading the "train" around the living room) I'm like a cockroach, cause you can't kill me, I'm givin you things you think about with your friends inside your living room. The only difference is I've got the intelligence to do it, in front of ya'all and I don't gotta be false or sugarcoated at all. I can just get on the mic and spit it, and whether you like to admit it, I'm just livin' better than ninety percent of you mutants out can, then you wonder how I can eat up all that killing like valiums. I could even be irritating, backstabbin' everything to onion rings. (Mystique then spits on the floor, and then continues to rap): Or I'll be in the driveway circling, screaming, "I don't give a fuck!", with my windows down and my system up. So will the real Mystique please stand up? And put one of those fingers on each hand up? And be proud to be outta my mind and outa control, and one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?

            Mystique and Brotherhood: (All singing and dancing to the chorus together, waving their hands in the air): I'm Mystique, yes I'm the real Mystique, all you other Mystique's are just imitating, so won't the real Mystique please stand up, please stand up, please stand up? (Singing again, two more times)

            Mystique: Pump up the bass Wanda! (Brotherhood singing the chorus, beginning to fade it out, while Mystique speaks) Ha ha. Guess there's a Mystique in all of us. Fuck it, let's all stand up.

AN- Okay, I just thought about this, and there's no bashing here that's intended. It's just a PARODY! Hehehe...so, yeah, hope ya'all liked it! I did cut out some lyrics of the real song, just to let it all fit together...yeah....WOOHOO!   


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